Since my lower body lift, I have been having problems with obsessing over gaining weight. I have reached a weight and a size that surpasses my dreams. I never imagined that I would be fitting into clothes that are a size 6, 8 or 10. So, everything should be great now, right? Instead I am constantly worried that I will gain the weight back.

Since my gastric bypass surgery I have been a daily weigher. I have felt that this helps keep me on the straight and narrow. I have gotten used to the daily fluctuations in my weight and I thought I was ok with them. However, before my recent vacation, my weight went up three weeks in a row. I wasn't doing anything differently and I was concerned that the upward momentum wouldn't stop. I decided not to change anything until after vacation and then see what happened. So, while I was on vacation I lost 3.5 pounds of the weight I gained prior to vacation.

Since this has been going on for a while, I decided to see somebody to discuss this issue and see if I can get some peace around this issue and just enjoy my weight loss. The suggestion I got was that daily weighing might not be the thing for me. I'm not sure if I agree with this, but I am willing to give it a try in the hopes that it will help. Realizing my panic over the thought of not weighing every day, it was suggested that I pick one day not to weigh myself. I picked today as the day. A little while ago, I was walking down the hall and I thought to myself, I feel thin. Had I weighed myself this morning and found that I was up I probably never would have had this moment. Maybe, there is something to not weighing every day??

Last night I went shopping for some new jeans. I thought that a size 8 might be a good fit based on the way my 10s were fitting. Imagine my amazement when I fit into a pair of size 6 jeans! I am completely blown away by this. A size 6 is a pretty small size. Now, I can say that while I do realize I am not severly overweight, I don't see myself as a size 6.

Needless to say I am wearing the jeans today! It is a wonderful day. I'm afraid it is just a wonderful dream!

What an amazing journey the last 2 years have been. Today I weigh 148 pounds and I've lost 154 pounds. I have exceeded my wildest dreams in terms of my success with this weight loss surgery. However, my success in not measured just in pounds. There are so many elements that come into play with my success including

• My diabetes is under control without medication. I have not taken any medication since I left the hospital after my gastric bypass surgery. My last hba1c was 5.1; anything below 6 is considered non-diabetic. This is the most important benefit I've achieved from this surgery.
• I can run! I started running when I was about 5 months out from my surgery. It was a really slow start, but I was doing something I always wanted to do. This year I ran 2 half-marathons! It is just hard for me still to believe it! In 2007, I am planning to run the NYC marathon.
• I can bend. Ok, it may sound like a small thing, but those of us who have suffered from weight problems know how problematic bending can be. It is wonderful to be able to bend and tie my shoes or pick something up without giving it a second thought.
• I don't have to worry about seat belts on plane rides. I used to dread asking for an extender and actually went out and bought my own so I wouldn't have to ask for one.
• I am now on my surgeon's website under "Success Stories". How wild is that?!
• I was able to thoroughly enjoy our Alaskan cruise this year. I got out and did things like riding in float planes, helicopters and kayaks without wondering if my weight would be a problem. I had a major WOW moment when a little girl complimented me on my dress. I remember being a little girl and looking forward to dressing up and that moment captured that thrill I used to get when I was young.
• I hit a normal BMI on 9/14 this year and almost two months later I am still in the normal BMI weight range.
• I love shopping! Ok, this isn't necessarily a good thing.:) But after my lower body lift, shopping is so much fun.
• I bought my first cute bathing suit – a tankini! I can't wait to wear it.

As important as all my successes and WOW moments are, it is also important to me that I remember the pain. I don't want to forget how miserable I was as I believe it helps me not to allow myself to go back there. I know it could be all too easy to slip back into old habits. It is easier to eat now, and I can eat more than I've been able to. I have to watch that I don't allow myself to start picking up bad habits along the way.

There are so many people to thank for their support thoughout this journey. I just want to mention here my wonderfully gifted surgeons; Dr. Pomp and Dr. Sterry. And I have to mention my amazingly supportive husband, Rodney, who puts up with all my craziness.

Recently Rodney and I looked at bathing suits and I saw one that I liked with a little skirt bottom. I figured I needed to get one with a shirt or short bottom to help cover up my legs as my inner tighs have some loose skin. When we went back, the one I likes wasn't there. On a lark I decided to try on a couple with regular bottoms. I was completely blown away to realize that my legs didn't look that bad. So, I bought a tankini! This is probably the first time in my life that I have a cute bathing suit!

Today I took a vacation day from work as I had 3 doctor appointments in Manhattan. Rodney took the day off to spend with me running around the city.

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As I wrote in an earlier entry, my ultimate dream was to be a size 10. I've now found that some size 8 will fit! On 11/6 I bought my first size 8 garment. I got a pair of capris at the Banana Republic for the cruise I am taking in February.

I bought a few things from Macy's this week and one of them is a pair of size 8 brown pants. Yesterday I wore a them to work. I believe it is the first time I've worn a size in my entire life. It is unbelievable to be wearing a single digit size!:)

If anyone asked me prior to my surgery what my goal size was, I said a size 10. I didn't really believe I would ever be a size 10, I had no idea what it would look like, but it sounded good to me. Today I am wearing my dream size. I have on a green tweed, Ann Taylor skirt in a size 10. I am beyond happy with my results.

My lower body lift has made such a difference in my clothes. It is so exciting to be able to go shopping and not worry about trying to hide my hanging stomach (not that it was even possible).

Now, I can't wait to wear the size 10 Gap jeans that I bought on Sunday!